70 Ways to Bug Shikamaru
by sexikat729
Summary: 70 ways to scare, creep out, anger, annoy, and offend Shikamaru.


**_I must have like no life. Another stupid list. Tee hee. I don't own Naruto. Enjoy._**

1. Call him Bubbles.

2. Whenever he talks scream, "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!! Why is this pineapple talking to me!?"

3. Play Shogi with him, saying you are undefeated. Cheat obviously every time.

4. Sternly deny you are cheating angrily. Saying that he's just jealous of your 'Mad Shogi skills.'

5. Tell **everyone **about how you kicked his ass in Shogi.

6. Tell his mom that he called her a hag.

7. A really old hag.

8. Then tell her that he's been out drinking.

9. And smoking.

10. And is the father of seven different babies.

11. Call him at two a.m. crying hysterically never saying why.

12. Continue to call him every night at two a.m. crying hysterically saying it's about your dead pet.

13. Have these calls last about three to six hours.

14. After nearly two weeks of this tell him you really miss Penny, your pet nickel.

15. Lock him in a closet.

16. With Ino.

17. While she's PMSing.

18. Sing "Pika Shika, pudding and pie. kissed the girls and made them cry. When the big boys came to play, Shika realized he was gay!"

19. Sing every time he walks closely to any woman.

20. _**Any**_ woman.

21. Especially his mother.

22. Whenever he makes an observation smile, pat him on the head and say, "Oh Shika did you forget to take your meds again."

23. Put a sign on his back saying, "Woman are so troublesome."

24. The next day add to the bottom, "That's why I like men."

25. Pinch his cheeks.

26. Hug him randomly, yelling each time, "HUGS!!"

27. Giggle hysterically every time you see him.

28. Beg him to let you set him up on a blind date.

29. Have it be with a man.

30. Have it be Sasuke.

31. Then exclaim loudly, "I just knew you'd make the cutest homosexual couple I've ever seen!"

32. Shave his head.

33. Except for a part where it says, "Michael Jackson's HAWT!"

34. Poke him.

35. When he asks why you did, say it wasn't you.

36. Poke him again.

37. Deny it again.

38. When he says that it wasn't you laugh.

39. Then yell, "Ha it was ME the whole time!"

40. Then say, "You are sooo stupid Bubbles"

41. Say "Oh yeah!" at the end of all his sentences.

42. Ask him a stupid question.

43. Then ask why.

44. Over, and over, and ovver, and over.

45. Continue asking until he stops answering and then ask the same question from before.

46. Whenever he cloud watches ask him what each cloud looks like.

47. Have him explain.

48. In extreme detail.

49. Finally say, "I think it looks like a cloud."

50. Scream every time you see him "Shikamaru, why didn't you look at me last night? WHY!? Why don't you love me!?"

51. Break down crying in the street and grab his leg.

52. Do not let go.

53. Pull at his hair hard, muttering to yourself, "Where is he?"

54. When he asks what you are doing, look him dead in the eye, and say totally serious, "I am looking for Spongebob Squarepants."

55. Look at him rub your hands together and mutter evily, "Yes, yes. Soon. Not much longer now. Blood."

56. Get him drunk.

57. Really drunk.

58. Afterwards hint obviously that you to did something dirty.

59. Never really specify what, just say things at random times about it, acting all dreamy.

60. Wait until he practically begs you to know then say, "Crap we did something! I thought you just puked on that cat in the alley!"

61. Continuously tell people he is your pet chinchilla.

62. Named Chunky.

63. Who likes to eat dental floss.

64. Every time he tries to eat, snatch the food away from him screaming, "No bad Chunky! Chinchilla's don't eat that, this is people food!"

65. Pat him on the head saying in that stupid baby voice, "Whose a good Chunky? Who is? Whose the good chunky chinchilla? You are, yes you are, yes you are!"

66. Smile at him and say creepily, "I like you."

67. Then say, "You sleep nice."

68. When he asks how you know, say, "I watch you sleep every night."

69. When he asks how you get in his house, laugh and say, "Silly, I live in your closet!"

70. After doing all this scream aggravated and tell him to stop stalking you and to go get a life.


End file.
